I'm the Queen and this is Latifah

On the day of my appointment with the surgeon, I took Karen, or "TeeTee", hoping she would hold it together and maybe do the driving this time.  I went in alone at first and had a bit of a physical inspection.  I was asked to describe what I had been experiencing.  I said it's like those pop rocks candies exploding inside my breast, some days more, some days less.  He said that was because I was feeling the tumour growing.  That totally creeped me out!

The surgeon invited TeeTee into his office and he explained what's next.  He said I have the most aggressive form of breast cancer, that all my "markers" and "receptors" and a bunch of other stuff that was swimming around my foggy head were the worst they could be and that my only real course, as a first step, was a mastectomy.  What?  I figured I'd have a little lumpectomy, maybe some chemo, a bald head and then I'd be fine.  I was stunned. He went on to add that my cancer cells are multiplying at "an alarming rate".   I know I said I wanted it straight up, but a little sugar-coating might have been nice.  I looked at TeeTee, who by that time had sat back in the chair beside me and starting lovingly rubbing my back, and I said, "Is he talking to me?"  She said in an animated way, "He sure isn't talking to me.  I don't even want to make eye contact with him."  I asked all the usual questions about the surgery and treatment.  He doesn't think I'm a candidate for reconstructive surgery and even if they did reconstructive surgery this form of cancer may come back and they'd have to take it all apart.  So I took a deep breath and asked the obvious questions.  I asked if there's some sort of snap-on breasts so I could change them often.  Thinking aloud, I said, "I think my first choice for a prosthetic will be a black one.  I'll say to people, 'I'm the Queen and this is Latifah'."  He looked at us both and TeeTee and I just roared with laughter.  Apparently these questions were only obvious to the two of us!  She assured him this is normal behaviour for us and we'll be just fine.  He said I had the right attitude (what's that exactly - insanity?) and that he'd let me know when the surgery would take place.  I said we were going away that weekend so hopefully it won't interfere with our plans.  He smiled and escorted us to his nurse's desk.  She arranged the surgery date right then  for...drum roll in my head started here...September 2nd.  Oh, good, I thought, that's far enough away it won't interfere with my plans for a fundraiser I was working on either!

The surgeon directed us to his front desk where the nurse looked at TeeTee and said, "You look really familiar.  Do I know you from somewhere?"  TeeTee waved her hands about and said, "No, no, you don't recognize me.  Lose this face!"  It was hilarious.  The nurse sent me straight away for blood work and chest x-rays while I was still numb.  TeeTee heckled me while they took blood knowing how much I can't stand doing that.    Vampires, all of them!  The young woman who conducted the chest x-ray told me her mom was a breast cancer survivor for seven years.  She said before the cancer diagnosis they hadn't spoken for a couple of years and suddenly that all went away and they were really close and she can't believe the time she wasted being angry at her mom.  That touched me very personally and I thanked her for giving me hope.