Giving It My Breast Shot: Port Is Not Just A Wine Anymore...

Two nights ago I couldn't sleep for five minutes. I was very anxious about yet another surgery, this time to install a port into my chest, as a pathway for the chemotherapy into my bloodstream. This is all in an effort to save my arms from permanent vein damage so I can continue to hug without pain. I am a typist by trade so that's another reason but the biggest one is to be able to hug.

I had attended a "port teach" class in preparation for the port insertion surgery and was advised that I could request an Ativan before the local freezing was administered and that would take the edge off. TeeTee came with me and told me to ask for two pills so she could have one as well. The thought of the surgeon cutting into my chest with me just having the "edge" removed freaked me out so I didn't sleep a wink.

We arrived at the hospital really early as there was no traffic on the route there for the first time in recent history. Turns out this was a good thing as I got to be the first to have the procedure and so wouldn't require someone to stay overnight with me as the happy medicine would be out of my system by nightfall. Turns out, I was going to be given a pleasurable intravenous sedation.

"Denise" was my nurse and she admitted me, took my information and installed the IV into the back of my hand. I find this the worst part so I know a port was the right choice for me. She let TeeTee come in and hold my hand while all this was going on. She didn't understand that TeeTee would just use this as another opportunity to heckle me. So with needle in hand, I was wheeled to the Interventional Radiology Department where I was asked some further questions. I asked what the bright blue plastic card was for, suggesting I could perhaps redeem this for a glass of Shiraz (or port) afterwards, and she said that was a great idea, that no one had suggested that before. Hard to believe but true!

A specialist then came and explained the procedure to me. As he described the two incisions and that I would have dissolvable stitches, I was just thankful I didn't have to have staples again. Then he said they put Dermabond, a super glue, over top of the whole thing so I won't have to change dressings. The Dermabond also helps to prevent infection and will fall off in two purple blobs between one and two weeks post-surgery.

When I was then wheeled into the surgical room, I was freezing. They explained the air conditioning just kicks in during the month of November as they sweat all summer long. I was covered in a pile of three heated blankies and made as comfortable as possible. Then three television screens appeared, I assumed for football, baseball and hockey. Apparently they're so the surgeon can see where he's going in my chest. Then the nurse peeled back my gown, exposing the right side of my chest and I said something about it's nice to still have one nipple that stiffens in cold weather. She then covered my surgical site with antiseptic and a big blue tarp. I welcomed the extra layer of warmth and the fact I couldn't see the TV screens. Then came in my favourite person, the anesthetist. He said he could put wine into the IV but he had something better. And he was right! Except for the initial poke of the needle for the freezing in my chest, I felt nothing at all. It was like I was awake but completely zoned out. I said something to the surgeon and he said, "She's still talking. Give her more." If I'd known that's how it worked, I would have babbled endlessly, as everyone knows I can!

The whole surgery took about 30 minutes. I then recovered back in the initial area with Denise and TeeTee. Another nurse drew an ink circle around a small bruise and said they'd keep an eye on that as it could be the sign of a leak. When it was determined the bruise hadn't spread, I was released. I walked in very slow motion to the hospital parking lot. I spotted a car with a licence plate I knew my friend, Lori, had arranged for me to see! TeeTee drove me home and babysat me for a while. Then it was naptime so she left with instructions to call me and wake me up to make sure I'm okay. Good thing I called her when I woke up because she totally lost track of time. It's tough to get good help these days.

As I hadn't slept at all the night before the procedure, I slept like a baby all day and night, only waking to check-up phone calls and to take Tylenol to "keep ahead of the pain". That's definitely part of my to-do list, to keep ahead of the pain. Truth to be told, that's all that's on my to-do list for today. I have to get better and be pain-free, as tomorrow night is a girls' get-together. Oh, yes, I have my priorities straight! Tomorrow night, I will enjoy the original kind of port and celebrate my friendships!