A Night to Remember

Trying to keep me as stress-free as possible, my friends rallied together to throw a fundraiser for me to help me through the financial reality of my situation.  I am self-employed and, therefore, unemployed so they took up the cause of keeping me independent and comfortable in my world, near them and my cancer clinic.  Words cannot describe the feeling I had throughout the night as one by one people came up to me to share stories of how they've been touched by cancer, who they were related to or friends with and how they just came to uplift and support me.  There was a huge turnout and I think half were complete strangers to me at the beginning of the night.  By the time the night was done, however, each and every one of their faces will remain forever etched in my memory bank.

TeeTee was definitely at the helm, making sure everything ran smoothly.  I could see she was frazzled at times and certainly run off her feet most of the night.  But she didn't quit.  She never does.  She held everything together and really put on a great event.  She didn't do it completely alone, of course, and I saw Lori and her husband, Rick, selling 50/50 tickets.  There were young people there helping them as well.  I know a lot of others chipped in to help make this event successful on the night.  The people I know helped (and I'm sorry if I've missed you) are Sabrina (aka Ethel) for making beautiful tickets and helping on the night, Catherine, Taylor, Amber and Kayla who all sold raffle tickets, spiky head sticks and handed out prizes, as well as Michelle and Don (aka Heather and Dave from Boobapalooza in Whistler) who sold silent auction tickets.  It was definitely a team effort captained by the enthusiastic TeeTee.

Then there were those who shaved their heads to raise funds and make me feel like there were other baldies so I wouldn't be alone.  Leanne went first.  She sat beside me and we held hands while our beautiful friend and mutual hairdresser, Michelle, shaved her head in the virtual darkness of the pub.  There were only flashing coloured disco lights to work under but Michelle rose to the occasion.  As tears flowed down Leanne's face, I looked out into the crowd and saw her daughter, Carrisa, was crying as well.  Her husband, Doug, was filming the event and seemed pretty pleased with how beautiful his wife looked bald.  She is very pretty with hair but there's something about a woman who can pull off the bald look.  This was a very emotional evening for Leanne, as it's close to the six-year anniversary of the passing of her dear friend, "Miss Yvonne", from the same disease I'm battling.  I could feel the pain, love and loss through Leanne and my heart broke for her.  I was very touched by her gesture.  She also managed to raise a lot of pledges as a bonus.

Next was my cousin's husband, Nigel.  Liane and Nigel travelled from the Island just so they could be part of my night.  They stayed in the local hotel in town and we had an opportunity to visit before, during and after the fundraiser.  Nigel is one year clear from his battle with and victory over stomach cancer.  I had gone to the Island to run with him for the first time post-treatment and was honoured to spend that special time with him.  He said he'd come to run with me when I'm ready.  In the meantime, he showed his support not only by attending but by shaving his hair.  While he didn't have a lot of hair, it was powerful for me that he would shave his hair after just growing it back in from his bout with chemotherapy.  He and Liane have been extremely supportive throughout my battle, offering experience and love.

Then it was time for the youngest supporter, Taylor.  She is TeeTee's almost-20-year-old daughter.  She had beautiful hair.  I know most young women would never consider shaving their heads as hair identifies a young woman's look.  Not Taylor.  What identifies Taylor is her beautiful outlook on life.  She is wise beyond her years and would never hesitate to give anything she could to make someone else's life a little easier.  Like mother like daughter.  I've known Taylor her whole life and while she always surprises me with her maturity as well as her goofy humour, I've never felt so bonded to her than in that moment as she had her friends shave strips of hair from her head.  She also raised a lot of pledges for my benefit.  Her friends are young and very generous.  A couple of her friends went out of their way to introduce themselves to me and I realized how incredibly generous and kind they are.

Last but not least was Mark.  He is the husband of my friend, Susie.  I met Mark only a couple of years ago but I have known Susie forever.  Susie and I met on the Seabus on our way to work one day and have been friends ever since.  During Mark's head shaving one of the songs I love to bop to was playing and I got my second wind.  I was holding his hand like all the others while they lost their hair and the music gave me energy.  I was singing and dancing while seated and that was really fun.  The young girls there were laughing at me and recording me so I'm thinking I could be a You Tube sensation that goes viral.  Mark told me Susie would banish him to the guest room till his hair grew back (and of course I offered him a warm blanket) but once she saw him hairless, she quite liked it so I think it's all good.

Paul was our deejay and really did a great job.  He had everyone dancing and laughing all night.  He was very sweet and said he'd do anything he could to help me.  The pub made a generous donation to the cause as well and made the night very special overall.  Steve, the owner, said he was happy to support me.  Wow.

There were raffle prizes and many creative ways to raise money to help me.  While I was completely humbled and thankful for the financial assistance, it was the outpouring of love from friends, family and complete strangers that overwhelmed and overjoyed me.  It truly was a night to remember.

Jane, Liane, Nigel (with hair) and me

Jenn and her mom

Beautiful Susie

Great Friends Eric and Joan

Michelle (aka Heather) and Christine - "Bosom Buddies"

Mike and me

Me with TeeTee

Deejay Paul, me and Lori (in our survivor scarves)

Leanne being shaved by Michelle

Amber cutting Taylor's ponytail off!

Nigel having his head shaved by Michelle

Mark, Nigel, Steve (pub owner), me, Leanne and Taylor

Rejoicing in Our Baldness!

In The Presence Of True Love

Yesterday was a day to remember forever.  It was the first day I woke up without a headache and I was bursting with energy.  My day got off to a great start with a visit from my friend, Holly, who brought me a London Fog tea, lovely soap and lotion, together with generous donations for my fundraiser.  When she left, I rested for a bit as I was looking forward to a great afternoon with more amazing friends.

My buddy, Erin, had invited me to join her family on a visit out to UBC where she was having a science fair.  I haven't seen Erin since August and have really missed her smile, energy and love.  Little did I know I was in for a lesson in true love.  As Mike, Nadine, Nadine's mom, Sheila, and I all headed to Vancouver for our time with Erin, including meeting her teachers, boss/friend and other friends in class, I could tell it was going to be a special day.

Mike and I sat in the middle row of my van, which Nadine drove, and Sheila rode shotgun.  There was a lot of laughter, as always, when we get together but there was something underlying all that cheer.  There was an unspoken love among us all.  Nadine and I have a solid, caring, loving friendship.  I adore her mom and she treats me with the utmost of respect and kindness.  I've pretty much always just had a friendship with Mike more like "he's my friend's husband" but since we've both been diagnosed with scary things (he has ALS) I feel our friendship has evolved.  We share things about our illnesses and have a sort of understanding between us.  I have maintained all along I'm so lucky to have the possibility of a cure and I only wish I could share my chemo with Mike and it would make him better.

The silent love that was felt with tremendous force was the love between Mike and Nadine.  She helped him on and off with his sweater, almost like a mother helps a child who just can't do it, but with obvious respect and patience for her husband.  She made sure he had a drink when he was dry.  She even sacrificed her lipstick so he could make a correction on the men's bathroom wall.  It was difficult to see Mike try to shake hands with people who didn't understand his limitations but he was very gracious with everyone.  He shared with me how his emotions are basically out of his control.  I assured him he's just getting in touch with his feminine side.  Another laugh with an undertone of reality that's just too sad.  Since Mike and I agree it's better to laugh than to cry, that's what we do.  We deal with everything with sarcasm and humour while understanding the truth of the gravity of our illnesses.  Nadine always handles situations with endless grace and concern for others and never have I seen her more composed and "in the moment".  Her focus was making sure Mike was okay every minute while still taking in the praise all of "Erin's people" had for her.  I was bursting with pride for Erin as though she were my own daughter so I can only imagine what her family was thinking.  I don't think it's anything new for any of us to see her be successful and cherished but to hear it from her professors, advisors, fellow students, boss and friends was amazing.  She is a great young woman who is going to be one awesome teacher.  Children and their parents will be lining up to request to be in her class for sure.

Nadine and I also talked about how some people say things to us that we don't understand.  We get that they're meaning well and think they're showing concern but when we're tired, we don't need to be told we look tired.  That doesn't help.  There are people who always look at us with "those eyes", the doe-like ones that we know mean they care but show sadness and confirm we are dealing with situations that are completely out of our control.  As much as we need your support and love, we can't handle pity or despair.  We both deal with these comments by diverting the subject.  We have learned to do that very well.  We can discuss how tired we are or how distraught in private, not in the middle of a mall or during a fitness class.

It was great to see where Erin lives so I can picture in my mind where she is when we are on Facebook.  Mike, Nadine and Sheila all brought her groceries and other things she requested, like a family would to support family in university.  Erin shared some of her Halloween stash with us...mmm...Reese's pieces.

We went off to her science fair to check out her project, which was impressive.  We dropped her off with all her gear and looked for a parking spot.  This was an adventure.  I realized too late that Nadine was driving down the wrong side of a boulevard and then realized it wasn't even a road but a "pedestrian area".  Not sure how many tickets or points that would have garnered but it explained why there were no other vehicles on the path.  After driving around in circles and backing out of dead-ends, we spotted parking about a half-block from where we started.  There's a running joke about Mike's driving into a soccer parking lot in years gone by, on two wheels and going way too fast because his daughter was a little late.  Mike really enjoyed heckling Nadine for all her wrong-way driving on sidewalks.  That was hilarious!

After a wonderful visit, we headed home.  The drive back was just as funny as the trip there.  I will always cherish that afternoon and look forward to spending as much time with the Sands family as possible.  It is my great honour to call them my friends, or as Erin kept assuring people, "she's family".  That's how they make me feel, like family.  They have all loved me through so much already and we will go forward loving each other through all of lives' ups and downs...just like a family should.



From back to front:  Sheila, Mike, me, Erin and Nadine

On MY Terms

When I was given my first chemotherapy treatment, along with a zillion other pieces of information about the side effects, I was told that I would for sure, 100% guaranteed, lose my hair on the 14th day after being flooded with these chemicals.  There's not a similar assurance about losing other body hair but definitely the hair on my head.  While being bald never bothered me much, comforted in the knowledge I may be rewarded with the re-growth being curly or red or something different, the fact that I could wake up to clumps or my whole hair mass on my white pillowcase or the fact that I could wash my hair and have a big chunk in my hand freaked me out.  Neither of those options appealed to me in the least so after waking up a few nights in a row, turning on the lamp to check my pillowcase, I decided I wanted to be proactive in this one matter.

Having cancer makes me feel very vulnerable and quite helpless when it comes to my care.  I had to accept the fact I had to undergo a mastectomy, port insertion surgery, invasive tests and now chemotherapy.  I have to accept that I even have cancer and that I can't do all the things I want to do.  But I don't have to wait anxiously for the day my hair falls out.  So I decided to gather some friends and invite my hairdresser, Michelle, who is also a friend, to my place for a head-shaving event.

Michelle arrived in her apron, ready for action.  She squeezed me between two clients and I so appreciated her coming to me.  Michelle is one of those people we all wish we could be more like.  She is kind, caring, sweet, funny and very straight-to-the-point honest.  She's like a breath of fresh air in my life and I have come to love her over the years.  I first met her when my oldest daughter was to graduate high school.  She did an amazing job and has been my hairdresser ever since.  She made us all feel like princesses on that special day and I'll never forget the experience.

I sat on a chair with my friends and parents surrounding me.  I always wondered what I'd look like in a mohawk, you know, like those crazy fans at football games, so we started with the sides.  I figured I'm not likely to shave my head again so may as well make some fun out of it.  The sensation and vibration around my ears was weird.  We stopped at intervals to laugh out loud and shed a couple of tears.  Everyone told me I would look great and rock the bald look.  That's what friends are for.  I wasn't so sure.  Of course, I have the world's best toque and hat collection now (see blog - The Epic and Unforgettable Pinkness in Pitt Party).

Photos were taken and encouraging words spoken.  Michelle was busy at her task and making sure not to shave me "to the wood" as I have a bit of a rash reaction from the chemotherapy drugs.  She said she'd leave me with a layer of fuzz so as not to open any of the bumps on my scalp and I agreed that I could handle waking up to a little fuzz in my bed.  However, if I wake up to two eyebrows on my pillowcase that could be strange.  I picture them as two arches as though they transferred from my face in their current state onto my pillow.

Mohawk achieved.  I've been dyeing my hair for so long I didn't realize how grey my whole head really is underneath.  Apparently a mohawk doesn't lie!

With the sides gone, it was time to take the middle strip off.  I was drawn into Nadine's eyes and we both shed a tear or two over that.  It was a very touching moment between good friends.  All I could think about was how lucky I am to have a chance to beat my disease and I'm so worried about her losing her beloved husband to his cruel ALS and what all that will mean to them both.

I could see TeeTee wiping tears from behind her camera.  There were smiles and "those eyes" all around me, the eyes people look at you with when they feel bad for you.  It all turned to laughter and compliments very quickly.  Can't keep me or my friends down for long!
 
Once I was completely clean-shaved, I let everyone touch my head.  It is prickly and soft all at the same time.  I actually don't mind the way I look hairless and after having a shower and realizing how much maintenance hair is, I may just enjoy the break.

Michelle posing with me "before"

Me with the "toupee" look

Mohawk

Striped Mohawk (aka grey roots!)

A Special Moment with Nadine

Done - Baldness Achieved!

Mom and Dad

Me with Nadine "After"

Lori, Carrisa and Taylor

Nadine and Alex (with pink-streaked braids!)

I'll Get By With a Little Help From My Friends...

I have always been a Beatles fan and love listening to the CD my daughter made me for my van.   It brings back lovely memories.  During this hourly battle for my life, this song comes to mind.  I say hourly because every hour my symptoms, reactions and emotions change.

The first day was the roughest for sure.  Sitting in a hospital chair watching three bags of chemicals empty in your otherwise drug-free body was horrifying.  That night, TeeTee stayed over with me, as I was scared to be left alone.  We were trying to decide if those first hours' worth of side effects were as a result of all the adrenaline and anxiety of the day or if these were truly side effects from the noxious fluids.  We won't know until the second round, I suppose.  My symptoms ranged from tingling and pounding in my head to one long wave of nausea.  I took every mandatory and optional pill as I was determined not to throw up.  The advice is to do that and I figured this was not a time to disprove any doctors' theories.  Just swallowing the pills made me gag.  I was afraid to move or talk or breathe.  TeeTee made me soup and I tried a few teaspoons of that.  I came very close to vomiting once but then the pills kicked in right at that moment and I felt somewhat better for about an hour.  I didn't sleep well at all, wishing things, all things, could be different.

Upon waking, I opened my eyes and couldn't believe I was alive and not feeling too badly.  I couldn't hear TeeTee awake so I lay there, still in my thoughts, and assessing each body part.  Nothing had fallen off overnight.  I think I expected there'd be an arm or leg next to me in the bed or something.  When I got up, TeeTee and I had my usual breakfast of yogurt, banana, granola and cranberries.  I had a few sips of coffee but haven't been able to stomach that since.  Lori came by with watermelon, which is now the best fruit on the planet, ginger ale and crackers.  This was my diet for the day.  When my girls were sick, it was ginger ale and crackers so I figured this might work for me if the nausea returned, which it did.  The day went fairly well, TeeTee left in the afternoon and Tracey came by on her way home from work, just in case I was scared again.  Again, I took all the recommended meds and played hero to no one.

Day three, I felt horrible again.  I forced myself to have a shower.  My sense of smell is heightened like never before.  Not even when I was pregnant was it this sensitive to everything.  I just figured if I had a shower at least I wouldn't offend visitors.  Today wasn't as bad as the first night - nothing has been that bad - but horrible nonetheless.  Pounding, tingling head, nausea and aching all over, head-to-toe, front-to-back.  Lori and Sharon came by for a brief visit and Sharon brought each of us cancer survivors (of course I'm "pending") bracelets to cheer us up. 

Days four and five were very similar to day three.  Tracey came over and spent the day cleaning my place and she changed my sheets.  That felt good for sure. 

Day six, the fog lifted, the nausea subsided completely and I actually felt up to watching the Lions win the west and the Canucks beat the east.  I managed a full meal and a shower. 

Sleeping is definitely an issue.  I was so tired one night I thought I was going to die from exhaustion.  The simplest things are complex.  Typing this blog used to come very naturally but now it's a struggle.  Reading emails, let alone responding to them, is difficult.  I have so many people checking in on me daily to make sure I'm okay I felt I wanted to get this blog out.

If there were one thing I'd change about the Beatles song, it would be the world "little" because it's taking a lot of help from my friends - but they are all there.  In my darkest moments, I can see them standing in front of me cheering me to victory.  I can see them walking beside me every step of the way.  But most importantly, I can feel them pushing me from behind when I so desperately just want to stop trying, when there seems no point to all of this.  They make me realize that no matter what else is happening in my life, I have to fight for a happier tomorrow, that things will get better and somehow that makes me keep going.  So that's what I will do.

Chemotherapy or Forced Rehab???

The past two Saturday nights I have partied hearty and probably drank more crantinis than would be prescribed by my oncologist.  All that partying has come to a dramatic halt as the nurse, today, told me that it may not make me feel very good to drink alcohol during my chemo treatments.  I may challenge her on that at some point and give into the occasional cocktail.  As I've said before, I can't think of a better time to drink than being on chemotherapy!

Today was my first chemotherapy treatment.  I actually slept pretty well last night.  I guess I wasn't as terrified about this as I was for the surgeries.  I walked in with the attitude that this will be one down, five to go, but as TeeTee and I got closer to my "pod" (the place where they keep the pod people) my heart started to race and the dread of reality set in.  We were introduced to Nurse Lisa, who sat me in the appropriate chair and was ready to hook me up through my chest port to receive all the toxic liquids.  I held TeeTee's hand and burst into tears as Lisa gently jabbed (can you really "gently" jab??) the needle into my port.  I don't think it was so much the pain of the needle going in as the utter fear of the knowledge that this necessary poison was going to start pumping into the vein that leads to my right ventricle.  I know this is necessary to save my life, and it better work, because I'm not going through all of this for negative results.  Nurse Lisa was then very thorough in explaining all the medications' side effects, including her personal guarantee that I will lose the hair on my head on the 14th day.  After being completely overwhelmed by too much information, it was time to get started.  Nurse Lisa then gave me my anti-nausea medication and offered me a drink to wash them down.  We all had a good laugh, as my first request was for a crantini or a glass of shiraz.  I settled for water.

Nurse Lisa then hung my bright red Kool-aid-coloured drip and I held her hand while we all watched it course through what seemed like miles of intravenous tubing until it went right into my chest.  The moment the liquid hit my chest made me feel completely vulnerable and rather violated, something I wasn't ready for.  At that moment I should have been holding TeeTee's hand, but she was too busy videotaping and photographing this incredibly personal moment.  Truth be told, I requested her to document every step of this day, so she's not "really" being too negligent in her comforting duties.  I was also told I could expect to pee orange or red, so not to freak out when that happens.  After 10 or 15 minutes, the red bag was drained and the next bag of drugs were hung.  This one only took six minutes to course through my system, and then the final bag was pumped by a machine into my body for 45 minutes.  The final step today was to flush my port with a saline solution to cleanse my port for next time, then I was done.

On our way out I had to pee and, sure enough, it was bright orange, as promised.  I stopped just short of photographing the toilet bowl for my blog.  While some things don't need to be seen, others apparently must be heard, as I find myself full of gas and farting with every step I take.  It reminds me of a motorboat in action.   This apparently nauseates TeeTee, so she may have to borrow some of my medication to cope.

So now I've been home for a few hours, feeling sort of "strange".  I'm not sure if that's as a result of the stress and adrenalin of today or if it's the side effects I was informed about.  After realizing it was late in the day and I hadn't eaten since breakfast, I had some toast and experienced a wave of nausea, so decided to give in and take my "bonus" anti-nausea pill and have basically been laying on the couch, allowing TeeTee to be my personal nurse for the afternoon.  She has also been acting as my secretary, reading me emails, fielding my calls, and even typing this blog through dictation.  I think the rest of my day will be spent laying around, feeling somewhat sorry for myself, but strong in the knowledge that there are a lot of you out there cheering me on and pulling for me.  I'm once again very grateful not to walk this path alone.  Now, if I could only figure out a way that you could take my chemotherapy for me, that would really make me feel a lot better.  I'm not sure how often I'll be blogging over the next little bit, but will do my best to keep you all updated on my progress.  Keep your positive thoughts flowing.  Next time you see pictures of me I may be bald with a handlebar moustache, waxed lovingly on the tips into a perfect curl.  Oh, did I forget to mention that it seems unwanted hair growth is a possible side effect from one of the many medications?  Talk about adding insult to injury.

Till next time…

Uh-oh, this can't be good

Me and Nurse Lisa B4 it begins

Anti-naseau pills......check!!

I don't want to do this anymore....

Heated blanket, pillow, IV drip....just waiting for my pedicure...

Nurse Deb removing the tubes

One down.....five to go.....Yes!!

Reality hits hard.  Not feeling so great.  Thank goodness for my comfort blankie and my beloved TeeTee.

Happy Dance Day!

Today was the day I've been nervous about.  Well, surprisingly not as nervous as the day I went for my port insertion surgery.  Somehow being stuck with more needles and cut open again to install the port and a tube that runs to my carotid artery freaked me out more than the news I may have cancer in other parts of my body!

I underwent a CT scan of my abdomen and a head-to-toe bone scan.  Lori drove me to the appointment and we met TeeTee there.  The three of us tried to convince the nurse to supply us with wine, Ativan or champagne and orange juice.  While she said she couldn't do that, she laughed with us and thought it was a great idea!  So with our usual good humour, we waited for the oncologist to bring us the news.  He confirmed my tests were negative for spread and that they would just keep an eye on my liver, which seems pretty common for my type of cancer.  Whew - what a huge relief!

We all just refer to breast cancer as "breast cancer".  I decided I wanted to know what the formal name of my form of breast cancer is and had asked a couple of weeks ago.  I have what's commonly known as "triple negative breast cancer".  It's scientifically known as "ER-negative, PR-negative, her-2/neu-negative, Grade 3, Stage 2 carcinoma breast".  While getting negative test results today is a good thing, apparently triple negative breast cancer is not.  How confusing this all has become.  All I know is, for today, for now, all is as good as can be expected.  The three of us shared high-fives and Lori exclaimed, "This is great!  Life is good!" and TeeTee admitted this was definitely a happy dance day!

Next is chemotherapy, which starts on Tuesday.  I was handed three prescriptions to fill for nausea medication.  The doctor said one may constipate me, one may make sleep impossible and the other is a back-up in case the first two don't work well enough.  For someone who doesn't take Tylenol, this is mind-boggling.  As I've said all along, however, every day done and every treatment behind me is a day closer to recovery so I say, bring it, and let's get 'er done!

Going to happy dance now...will you join me?

The Epic and Unforgettable Pinkness in Pitt Party

Last Saturday night will forever remain one of my fondest memories.  There was a ton of laughter, a few tears and many gentle hugs throughout the evening.  Lori invited us all to her Manor for a pre-chemotherapy pick-me-up party and she nailed it!  When I walked into her home, I immediately was drawn to the pink decorations she used to dress her dining room.  Lori and I admit we are not the most creative people so she definitely outdid herself.

Ethel (Sabrina) was our bartender and photographer for the evening.  I started with a cosmopolitan and then asked her what she was drinking.  She said it was a crantini and invited me to take a sip.  I left her the cosmo and drank crantinis for the rest of the night.  I think that may become close to Shiraz on my party list.

Guests arrived, one after the other, until there were more than 20 friends in attendance.  I was thrilled to see each and every one.  I couldn't really hug anyone so just leaned in for kisses.  Post-mastectomy, I hugged with my right side, saying, "This is my good side."  Since I had just had my power port surgically implanted two days prior into my right chest, I really didn't have a good side.  However, where there's a will, there's a way and Susie found it.  She said my backside was my good side and hugged me from behind.  So sweet.

Patty brought a cake she'd had made that was topped with a photograph of Team K3 from our CIBC Run for the Cure and it was inscribed, "We Love You Karen".  Leanne made a tray of pink-frosted cupcakes and arranged them in the shape of the breast cancer ribbon.  Nadine brought her signature (and always delicious) strawberries dipped in chocolate, all arranged on a pink heart-shaped platter.  There were trays and dips and fattening goodies everywhere - the table was a feast!

I received a couple of gifts from guests who had to leave early: Adele with a lovely flower-embellished toque-and-scarf matching set.  Gail presented me with a gift from her friend (see blog, The Kindness of Strangers).  Gail had to excuse herself early, as she was volunteering at a fundraising event for sick children.  I gave her $20 to donate and said to buy a 50/50 ticket or raffle basket.  Nadine had to leave to cheer for her daughter in a hockey game.  I was just touched that although they all have such busy lives, these friends took the time to come and spend the evening with me.

As people arrived with gift bags, I honestly thought it was someone's birthday and I'd dropped the ball.  Then it became apparent that there was a theme and everyone had brought things to comfort me through chemotherapy.  Everything from toques, hats, scarves, mitts and socks to jewellery, a book, a CD, ornaments and a pink rock.  A very special pink rock.  My friend, Audrey, presented me with her gift bag and said part of it was from her daughter, the always gracious Kate.  Kate wrote a beautiful sentiment and prayer for me.  She explained that she'd found this rock at the river and painted it pink.  She had used the rock during her prayer for me and then inscribed it with, "Zephaniah 3:17" and wrapped it as a gift.  A very caring gesture from such a sweet girl.

Then there was the bald cap.  Leanne decorated two bald caps with "K3", flowers and rhinestones.  She recalled me mentioning that the oncologist said I couldn't carry out my plan to henna tattoo "K3 4EVR" on my bald head, as the ink may actually leach into my bloodstream so it wasn't allowed.  I was disappointed and this was Leanne's way of solving that.  She made herself one, as she is one of the friends shaving her head in my honour, so we got a preview of how we will look hairless.

There were many laughs and compliments as I tried on different hats.  I've never considered myself to carry off the hat look well at all but knowing I will have no choice, as I'll be bald just as winter arrives, has made me appreciate the humour and fashion of it all.  I now have enough hats and scarves that if I mix-and-match well, I won't wear the same two for the duration of my treatment.  I felt very spoiled and extremely loved by all the thought, attention and care that went into choosing just the right gift from each and every friend.

The lesson for me is to allow others to give.  I know from experience that giving to someone else or to a cause is a great way to help us cope with difficult situations.  While it is incredibly humbling and somewhat embarrassing to be on the recipient end, the outpouring of love that goes with each act of kindness lifts my spirits and helps me see the big picture - that no matter what's thrown my way, I have an army of people to walk with me, sometimes pushing me from behind to keep me going, each step of the way through this battle.  And for that, there aren't enough words to express my gratitude and appreciation except to say to you all, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 
Oh, and when I got home I had a message from Gail.  She used my $20 for 50/50 tickets and I won - $167!  What an ending to already fantastic night!  Three days later, my cheeks are still sore from smiling.  Now, that's a pain I can live with!

Table decorations at the Manor

More Pinkess

My beautiful cake!  Thanks Patty!

Nadine's Strawberries

Leanne's Cupcakes!

Ethel Shakin' Up the Martinis!

Me Enjoying a Crantini!

Me and Leanne - Embracing the Baldness!

Me with Susie Toasting Our Friendship

Taylor Rockin' the Mohawk

Bev, Sheilah, Sharon and Me

Me and Lori - Cheers!

TeeTee and Ethel

Friends Modelling Hats (and Leanne still bald)

The Kindness of Strangers

We always seem to be awash in negativity through the media, the news of the world and how cruel mankind can be to one another.  Of course, there are the bright spots that give us all hope and strength to believe there is a better tomorrow and that we can all improve on our humanity, individually and collectively, that through simple acts of kindness we can all live a happier, more content life.

My friend, Lori (see blog, This is Great!  Life is Good!) , hosted a "Pinkness in Pitt Party" to lift my spirits.  So many great friends came and did just that!  While I will definitely provide further blogs on the party itself, I'd like to dedicate this blog to the kindness of strangers.

It became apparent that there was a bit of a theme to the party and that was toques, scarves, socks, anything to keep me warm and comfy (and very stylish) during the winter months while I'm bald and undergoing chemotherapy treatments.

One toque came from a woman who is a total stranger.  Her name is Joann and she is friends with my friend, Gail.  I was presented with a gift bag, along with a card of well wishes from Joann, who spotted a lovely toque on the ferry and thought I would like it.  This struck me as just so sweet.  Even strangers are reaching out to support me.

Bev's mom, Margaret, is a cancer survivor and made me an exquisite scarf.  It's very unique and all my friends would like one!  Her mom said it was "from one survivor to another".  That touched me.

There is a singer in Kelowna named Gorden James, who is a friend of my friend, Sheilah.  He sent her his CD titled "Heart of the Matter" to pass on to me.   I've spent the morning listening to it and it is very uplifting and soothing music and the words are very meaningful.  He inscribed the CD with the words, "Karen, be strong and even strangers are praying for you."

Today, I was given a beautiful blanket handmade by a thoughtful woman in Texas.  Her name is Maxine.  I don't know her, have never met her and here she is thinking of me, praying for me and taking the time to make a cozy cover for my comfort during my chemotherapy.  It is beautiful and one of the softest things I've ever felt.

 
These gestures mean so much at this difficult and challenging time.  I will be forever grateful for the love and support of my many friends and family, as well as the kindness of complete strangers who have reached out in a successful attempt to make my world happier and more content.

Holding the CD over my heart - thanks Gorden!

Snuggled in the softest blanket ever - thanks, Maxine!